A practical guide to supporting your child during exams

10 May 2022

Exam season is stressful for young people and their families. It can be a rocky time but there are things you can do to help your child.

Causes of exam stress

Feeling unprepared
Pressure from others
Pressure to get certain grades
Comparing themself to others
Worrying about the future
Having difficulties at home or in relationships

Signs of exam stress

Your child may:

feel overwhelmed or tense
not sleep well
be irritable, frustrated, bored or angry
lose interest in food or eat more than normal
feel hopeless about the future
isolate themselves

Their stress might manifest itself physically:

headaches, dizziness and stomach pains
feeling sick
sweating a lot

How to support your child

Diet

A balanced diet is crucial during revision as well as on the day of an exam:

Eat breakfast every day: it improves concentration and memory throughout the morning
Breakfasts that have a low GI (eg porridge, muesli, breakfast bars) are ideal; energy is released more slowly throughout the day
Avoid energy drinks; they contain large amounts of sugar and can cause sharp spikes in blood sugar levels, causing your child to lose focus
Avoid high-fat, high-sugar and high-caffeine food – they can make young people hyperactive, moody and irritable
Drink enough fluids (preferably not energy drinks or lots of coffee) — dehydration can affect energy and focus

Sleep

Good sleep improves thinking and concentration.

Allow half an hour or so for your child to wind down after studying or watch TV before going to bed
Relaxation techniques, such as focussing on breathing slowly, can reduce stress or help your child sleep
Stick to a set bed time and a fixed wake-up time every day, including weekends

Manage phone use

As well as switching off phones at night for a restful sleep, young people need to work efficiently during the day. That means putting their phone aside to allow them to focus. Rather than banning phones outright, you could suggest

putting the phone in another room, working for shorter periods effectively - instead of longer periods with their phone
they take one minute (timed) to close all websites and apps, silence their phone and set an alarm for 15 minutes. Then put the phone to one side, screen-down. When the alarm rings they get one minute to check in, then they repeat the process. Ideally, they should increase their focus time until they can do 30 minutes or more.

Exercise

Exercise can help boost energy levels, clear the mind and relieve stress. Activities that involve other people are also very helpful.

Talk

Encourage them to talk about their concerns. Help them face their fears, rather than avoid them
Encourage them to practice positive self-talk and focus on their strengths and achievements
Be reassuring and positive. Let them know that failing is not the end of the world. There will be other options and opportunities.
After each exam, encourage your child to talk it through with you. Discuss the parts that went well rather than the questions they found difficult. Then move on and focus on the next test.

Avoid criticism

Watch your language - using words like ‘you must’ can have a negative effect on motivation
Encourage your child to focus on realistic goals of their own, rather than compare themselves critically to their peers or to worry about expectations other people have of them

Be supportive

Your child needs somewhere comfortable to study. This could be school or a public library if there isn’t somewhere suitable at home
Help them plan a realistic revision timetable. This reduces anxiety and increases their sense of control and confidence
If there are topics they find particularly difficult, make sure their revision plan targets these
Discuss different revision techniques and help them identify which suit them best (eg making flashcards, using highlighters, watching online revision videos)
Know their exam timetable and what equipment they will need; when they feel stressed, things can slip their mind

Other support

How the school can help you:

Speak to your child's teacher(s) about what revision techniques they recommend
Find out if the school has learning mentors that can help with practical steps including revision timetables.
If your child has additional learning or developmental needs, speak to the school SENCO and establish what specialist provision they can put in place.

If your child’s anxiety is spiralling and you are worried that they may be experiencing depression or developing an anxiety disorder, discuss this with your GP. Early intervention can help prevent more serious mental health problems from developing.

Useful resources

NHS Help your child beat exam stress

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/children-and-young-adults/advice-for-parents/help-your-child-beat-exam-stress/

Place2Be Navigating exam season: free resources

https://www.place2be.org.uk/our-services/services-for-schools/navigating-exam-season-free-resources/

Young Minds A parents’ guide to helping your child manage exam stress

https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/blog/how-to-help-your-child-manage-exam-stress/

Childline A free, confidential service for anyone under the age of 19

https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/school-college-and-work/school-college/homework-revision/

If you are concerned about your child and would like to talk to us about taking the next steps together, contact us for an initial free chat…

https://jmmentalhealth.co.uk/get_in_touch.aspx

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